Still Learning Moments: Who Am I Outside of Mama?

 

 I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror today—not just the tired eyes or the spit-up on my shoulder—but the woman underneath it all. And for a second, I didn't recognize her. 

Motherhood changes you in ways no one can quite explain. You fall so hard in love with this tiny human that you willingly pour every part of yourself out—your time, your energy, you sleep, even your body. It's beautiful. And sometimes... it's disorienting. 

I used to be a woman who could answer the question "So, what do you like to do for fun?" without blinking. Now, my brain searches for answers beyond "take a nap" or "shower alone." 

And yet—I'm still her. Somewhere beneath the mom bun, behind the baby bag, within the woman memorizing feeding schedules and lullabies—I'm still me. 

 

I'm still learning how to honor that woman. 

To give her space.
To let her breathe.
To remind her that being "Mama" doesn't mean disappearing. 

Because when Ariella looks at me, she doesn't just see comfort and cuddles. She sees her blueprint. Her example. And I want her to know that it's okay to love your family deeply and still hold onto yourself. 

So I'm relearning the sound of my own laugh. I'm revisiting the little joys that made me light up before my world revolved around diapers and baby giggles.
And I'm slowly finding her again. 

Still learning,
Still showing up—for her and for me. 

— Ariella's Mama