Pumpkin Purrspective: Entry #14 - "Baby Sounds & Betrayals"

 

Dear Diary, 

The humans have done it again. 

They brought home this tiny, wiggly creature weeks ago and I'm still not convinced she's not a glorified noise machine. One minute she's squeaking like a broken bird toy, the next she's cooing like she's in charge of the kingdom. 

And the worst part? Everyone's acting like she's the cutest thing ever. 

HELLO  — I've been cute since birth. I don't drool. I don't scream. I clean myself daily. Where's my parade? Where's my praise? 

Yesterday, she let out a giggle mid-diaper change, and Mama looked at her like she discovered sliced bread. 
I sneezed in rhythm and no one even claps. 

Also, she stared at me again this morning like I was the fluffy overlord of her dreams. Which, obviously, I am. But I'm starting to feel like she's plotting to pull my tail as soon as she figures out what hands are for. 

I'll allow minimal head pats and maybe the occasional babble—but if she touches my treats, we riot. 

Until next time,
 🧡 Pumpkin the Slightly Offended, Yet Still Regal