"Us After Baby: A Marriage Still Becoming"

 

When we became parents, something shifted. Not just our schedules or our sleep (though... wow, that too), but in the space between us. The rhythm we once danced to as husband and wife had to find a new beat—one interrupted by bottle feedings, diaper changes, and the sweet, chaotic cries of the little life we created. 

And yet... we are still here. Still becoming.

Marriage after motherhood isn't a return to what was. It's a rediscovery of who we are now—individually and together. I look at him—my husband, my teammate, my baby's daddy—and I see the same man I married, layered with more. More tired eyes, yes. But also more tenderness. More patience. More purpose. He holds our baby in one arm and my heart in the other, even when we're too exhausted to say much. 

There are moments we miss each other, even when we're in the same room. We're learning that love after baby looks a lot like:

folding laundry together while the baby naps
laughing quietly under our breath when she farts in her sleep 
reaching for each other at night just to make sure we're still connected 

And somehow, through the exhaustion and the newness of parenting, we still try to date each other — every Friday evening. Sometimes it's takeout and a show after bedtime. Sometimes we sneak out for awhile while Grandpa and Grandma babysits. It doesn't have to be fancy, it just has to be us. 

We used to plan elaborate date nights. Now we plan to stay connected — on purpose, with intention, even if it's just a quiet dinner and eye contact across the table. 

Some days we're closer than ever. Other days, we're just trying to survive bedtime. But always, always, we choose each other. 

To the mams who wonder if your marriage will bounce back after baby—may it won't bounce. Maybe it will stretch. Maybe it will grow deeper roots. Maybe it will get quieter, softer, less about fireworks and more about firewood — the kind that keeps the house warm. 

We're still us. Not the same, but still strong.
Still in love.
Still becoming.